Who's the Weird One?
by ParadoxPoca
Summary: A girl visits South Park, and would rather die than be there for much longer. [It's very short, made for fun] EDIT: Not so short anymore
1. Chapter 1: In which OC complains

"Fatass!"

"Day-walking Jew!"

"Chubby Monkey!"

This was my day at school. Just listening to these two idiots. All day.

And it would stay like that until my parents finished their God forsaken documentary.

This "quiet little mountain town" is a disgrace. I'm just about the only kid that doesn't cuss, and I'm pretty sure the orange one isn't a virgin.

Sheesh.

I tightened my scarf in hopes I would choke and not have to be here. Sadly, I'm a wuss. I sighed into it, wishing I had ear plugs or something. Anything would work! Those two just don't realize they both aren't perfect, especially the fat one, what a prick!

Oh yeah, can't forget the one with the blue and red puff hat. Seriously, does he have digestion problems? He barfs every time that girl talks to him. And, it gets better, she still seems into him! What weirdos.

Then there's that other rival group. I'm not in either, yet somehow I always get in the middle of the two moronic groups. Like, the leader with the blank stare, he's always flipping people off! Doesn't he know he has four other fingers on that hand?!

Also, his friend is such a spazz. Is he on drugs all the time? Wouldn't be surprised... His hair's a mess and he freaks out all the time. He definitely needs to get his life together.

There's these two disabled kids, but I don't think I should talk about them. I might seem mean.

And then the girls here! All idiotic! They only want, what, shoes and glitter? The only sane female here is the one that likes vomit-boy, but even she is so feminist. She turns crazy whenever there's some petition or something happening.

Oh, and the adults? The nurse has a fetus in the side of her head, and one of the teachers thinks they're some kind of ventriloquist! Also, the perverted kid is always dying, this place is dangerous. I always stay away from him, is he a zombie or something?

Who's that one boy? The really sheltered one? Well, he's too naive! He's always being manipulated by the big one, I would feel bad for him if he weren't weird. They remind me of a child, seriously, grow up.

This town has aliens, explosions, gingers, Jews, fatsos, monsters, guinea pigs, peruvian flute bands, dead people, pink eye, talking poop, bus stops, and it's even worse than it sounds! I only named a few things, there's no way to keep up with this place.

There's no one decent here! No one!

"Ey, you, do you ever smile? You're worst then Craig, 'least he has a sense of humor! Really, how can you live here without telling the police you're 'offended' since you're such a little angel, am I right?"

"I kind of agree, whenever you talk to her she's never approving of anything. But hey! We aren't done arguing, fat-boy!"

"Ey!"

Oh, that's right.

Like I said, no one is decent here.

Not even me, apparently.

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**AN: Here's another lil oneshot, but this one was completely for fun. It's a little symbolic, I guess you could say, and I wasn't planning on posting it but thought, "why not?" Sorry for it being so short ;-;**

**Enjoy~**

**SUPER LONG EDIT: I don't know if ImPissed will read this, but... Huh. I mean, I don't know why people who get offended by that would be reading South Park fics anyways but, I'm sorry. The whole point of this little character was just to complain and whine like a brat. There was a point to this, but it is very obscure and was mostly writtten to be a sort of joke. I really hope this doesn't come off as offensive then, it was made for amusement but I can see if it isn't your type of humor. (But I'm still curious as to why they would be a fan of SP and be offended by this. Whatevs, it's fine)**

**if anything offended _you, _I am sorry. It wasn't supposed to be offensive. Especially that listing part, some of it was just stating what was there, and some of it was actually bad (ex: monsters and aliens) I guess I should have seperated the list then, or just take out the ones that are just saying what's there. I meant those parts as like if someone asks what's in a cabinet. "Oh, there's candy, which is normal to eat, but there's also rat poison." That sort of thing. So. Yeah.**

***flies into sun***


	2. IT'S HAPPENING

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I watched the clock's little hands move. Time was moving slower than I'd hoped. With a sigh, I start drawing in my notebook. I'll be honest, I love school. I love good grades. I love being good.

But this place wasn't school. This was _torture_.

And although many kids probably think that's the same thing, this is literally someone in front of the class who starts ranting about what not to do instead of what you are supposed to do. The only thing he's teaching us is about things that we're not supposed to talk about! Who tells fourth graders about drugs, anyways?!

"... Psst. Hey. You, the brunette." I assumed the boy in orange behind me was talking to me. Suddenly, I felt a pencil jabbed into my back. Okay, so it was more like a playful poke, but that pencil was just sharpened damnit!

Still trying to be the good little girl I am, I whispered and hoped that the so-called 'teacher' wouldn't notice. "What do you want?" The venom in my voice was still there, even in such a small whisper.

"You're cute. Let's hang out. And even if you don't wanna bang, I'm pretty sure Ky needs a study-butt-buddy." He said calmly. As if he didn't just say that he was hoping we'd have sex in the fourth grade. Fourth. Grade.

"Look, this town's pretty messed up. But I'm not like the rest of you. I'm fine with studying, having a partner helps me learn which I'm gonna need since the teacher helps none, so go ahead and tell your friend sure. But honestly, I wish I had the will to cuss at you for being so stupid."

It seemed he only got one thing out of that. "... So no banging?"

"Unless I had known you for what I'd think was forever, we were at the age of consent, and I were in a stable relationship with you for a good few years, than no. If you want to study too, I don't mind. Just please be a decent human being if you are going to join. I don't even know who 'Ky' is, but if they study that's already decent enough to me for a friend in this place. You, however, maybe if some miracle happened. Now, I am trying to write notes of what I remember from my old school, thank you very much." And I continued my work, just like that.

"I like them feisty." I could practically feel him waggling his eyebrows. I was getting so frustrated with him that I wish I was as bad as him so that I could beat him up with my bare hands. That's something I can't do, though.

_Unfortunately_.

It was easier to ignore him than I thought. He was hard to understand under that parka anyways, and I just put a book between my back and the chair like a shell or a shield. A shield to protect me from perverts poking me with purposely pointy pencils.

Just like that, time slipped by. One of the reasons I like school is because it's easier if you like it. When you actually write notes and pay attention time can fly by quicker than if you sit around. A big tip for you, do not watch the clock.

Lunch was the same as the morning. Now that they could talk, those two from before were at it again. They argued so much I was already used to it, which was a plus again. Also, I seem to be pretty much the only one who packs lunch to school. I'm no snobby rich kid, and I'm no gourmet either, but I would rather starve than eat this cafeteria's food. And it's not that I hate cafeteria food, it's just this cafeteria in particular.

"Are you gonna eat that, pissy missy?" What's his name? Cartman's what they call him, I think. And it looks like he had enough to eat already.

"Depends. If I don't who _is_ gonna eat it?" I'm only protecting him from being called fat, that's all. _Yup_.

"Me, duh." I didn't know how quickly wars were started in this group. The orange pervert from before piped up.

"Hey! I'm the 'poor boy'. I should get leftovers before people think I'm anorexic." And, of course, to prove his point he lifts his parka and shirt up to show his stomach. I'm ninety-nine percent sure he directed that gesture at me, to which I gave him an unimpressed look. He pulled it back down disappointedly. Can't wait 'till he finds out that fourth graders don't usually hit puberty with all those hormones that fast and that I'm pretty much asexual at this point.

"Oh, right! Ky, she said she'd study. She definitely wants the-"

"Shut up for a second, Kenny. Great, thanks. Now, you want to _study_? Jesus Christ, it's nice to find someone who actually cares about grades for once." The redhead looked so exhausted after another debate with... Carmen? I'll figure it out eventually.

Anyways, I wasn't too thrilled to find out 'Ky' was him, but I didn't mind. So far all he's done is get mad at someone else. I tried to think that it wouldn't be so bad because being pessimistic would make it seem even worse. Then again, I'm a pretty pessimistic person so that's a bit of a difficult task.

"Yeah, no kidding. Well my house is still having things arranged in it, so I guess I'll visit yours. It sucks that they have to schedule such an important test so near the beginning of the school year." I had no idea what to expect, and I was barely acquainted with them, but I guess getting used to my surroundings and the people I would have to spend a while with would be my best bet at staying sane.

"Exactly!" He sounded exasperated, but I guess he's probably always annoyed whether he has the stress of a test or not. I mean, he insults Carlin every five seconds. We decided, after a little talking, that I'd come over on the weekend before the test. Which would give me some time to actually befriend him instead of going to a stranger's house. I honestly didn't want to have a study partner anyways, I'd rather be alone. But, I can tell that the orange kid (I heard his name was Kenny?) would have bothered me even more if I didn't at least accept one of his offers. And don't think I would have accepted the first one.

What am I getting myself into? When can I leave already?

* * *

**AN: You do not know how true those last sentences were. Not so much the leaving one, but I honestly do not know what I'm doing here. I have like, the very slightest of a plot in mind but I'm not even sure what I'm thinking. I did want to continue this story, since both people asked and I was starting to like the character I'd made. This was gonna be a super duper long note about the character's creation, but I'll just say they're kind of like my exact opposite. So.**

**I just added something on my plate. Don't expect quick updates for this one. I just want to make sure that if I get stuck no one gets too disappointed. c:**

**Hope it'll end out good. Enjoy?**


End file.
